How critical are you when you carry on a conversation with yourself? Are you positive? Are you negative? Are you compassionate? Are you challenging? Are you looking for fault and heaping on criticism? Are you praising yourself when you accomplish a particularly challenging task?
If you’re like most people, you’re probably pretty harsh with yourself when you mess up. And you don’t celebrate or even acknowledge the milestones that took so much effort to reach. You’re not alone. Expecting perfection is becoming the norm – people can be quick to jump on any imperfection and be vocal in their displeasure with anything that doesn’t live up to their expectation of perfection.
How have you decided to deal with the negativity when it burrows into your brain? Negative self-talk is one of the most limiting behaviors you can pick up and it can quickly take over your thoughts and your idea of yourself and the value you provide to the world.
If you’ve noticed that negative self-talk is becoming more and more ‘normal’ inside your head, here are some tips to consider.
1. Distinguish between negative thoughts and critical thinking.
We all need a mechanism to analyze and make quality decisions. We may need to determine: our next course of action; whether our latest decision was the right one; whether we need to make a course correction; whether our actions or speech was appropriate or inappropriate. A certain amount of self-critique is necessary. However, it’s importance to recognize when that self-critique becomes non-productive – or even destructive – negative self-talk. Are your thoughts leading your toward a better outcome, or down a path of blame and depression.
2. Accept failure.
If you’ve never failed, chances are you’ve never stretched yourself to attempt something new. If you want to grow, if you want to change your life or business, get comfortable with failure. Think of it as a new lesson learned, critique the failure, make a course correction, and attack it from a new angle. Don’t attach emotion and self-worth judgments to whatever failed. Think of yourself as a toddler learning to walk. And falling down repeatedly. If the toddler never tried again, he’d spend his life crawling or being carried everywhere – or staying in one spot forever. But when he manages to actually take those steps, everyone celebrates! You’re a toddler. You will fail. Deal with it.
3. Program your mind for positive thinking.
Do you have some affirmations that really resonates with you? Do you remind yourself to use them daily? Do your thoughts gravitate toward the worst-case scenario, or do you look for that small piece of good in a given situation? Start noticing. Then, when the negative creeps in, consciously redirect your thoughts to the positive outcome you desire. The more you keep at it, the more natural it will become. Ideally, those negative things you tell yourself, will eventually be taken over by your positive affirmations and desired outcomes.
4. Limit your exposure to negative people.
Some people thrive on negativity and enjoy dragging others down with them. If you cannot avoid them altogether, spend as little time with them as possible. If you already struggle with negative self-talk, you certainly don’t need them adding more negativity. If you spend more time with positive people that build you up, your negative self-talk will naturally reduce.
5. Learn to see the good in people.
If you are always thinking negatively of others, it makes sense that you will more naturally think negatively about yourself. Being more open minded towards others will help you be more accepting of your own flaws as well.
6. Negative thinking is a choice.
Even though you have been bombarded with it since you were a child, thinking negatively is something you choose to do. Conversely, positive thinking is just as much a choice as negative thinking. Choose positive thinking. This isn’t an easy quick fix, it takes a lot of work and practice. …so start now!
7. Strengthen your feelings of self-worth and know the value you provide.
Negative thinking often occurs due to a lack of belief in yourself, or negative feelings of self-worth. Strengthening your confidence and feelings of self-worth and becoming more aware of the value you provide to the world will help you get through those times that may make you feel inadequate. No one is perfect, but we all have talents we bring to the table. Remember yours. You are unique. Celebrate the value you bring to your friends and family. And value yourself as the wonderful individual you are.
8. Work with an Energy Healer.
Set up time with your favorite Energy Healer to address the limiting beliefs underneath your negative self-talk. You might be surprised what statements are running through your head, keeping you stuck in the past.